Home: Loss & Ghosts

by Castle of Genre

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03:56
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02:57
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00:56
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03:52
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04:15

about

Saxophone played by Sam Smith on track 4
Additional vocals done by Taylor D'Elia on track 10
Spoken word introduction recorded by Harry Thomas on track 11

credits

released May 26, 2015

All songs written and recorded by Castle of Genre
Mastered by Will Hyde

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Castle of Genre Richmond, Virginia

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Track Name: Young and Immaculate (Loss)
There are still halls you wish we'd abandoned,
There are still rooms you wished I didn't inhabit
Your heart is still missing out
That flutter from the stomach ain't holding it up


These nights I get caught tricking my liver into believing this is better
I gagged on my pride and spat back a guttural regret

Let's get married again
That same bastard made you young and immaculate
Love, you were the only one, then again, maybe you weren't
Whoever we become we remain hurt

I thought I saw you reaching for my hand
Fire alarms pulled, hearts split in trash cans
Well that’s just like you too be honest,
While I’ll be the one you can’t

Your clean head to my dirty mirror
Sober now I've been trying to see you
You made up lives to live when I'm not around
While I wade through the afterlife
You were the right person to lose

Let's get married again
That same bastard made you young and immaculate
Love, you were the only one, then again, maybe you weren't
Whoever we become we remain hurt

I am young and immaculate
Love, I am the only one and know that you weren’t
Whoever I become I remain hurt
Whoever I become I remain hurt
Track Name: Balcony
Nothing ever happens when you’re busy
Searching for the things you lost
I can never recite any of your favors
I can never receive any of the cost
It’s our memories that bother me the most
They hang around picking fights with all of our ghosts
Now come on girl and take off all your clothes
I’ll fake forgiveness you’ve been begging me for

Bed head wake up instead

You say you’re scared and confused about the feeling
Of the way the highway brings you back to life
So the neighborhood is chained to both your feet
You’ve given up on trying to be yourself at night

Bed head wake up instead

Allison I wasn’t meant to be this weak
But I’m losing my head in your back seat
It’s not enough
Come on its your last chance to raise the dead
Be careful who you forget next
To fall in love

It’s not that bad, just scared of what you had


“Oh my god I’ve had enough
I’ve been your late night saint for far too long
But I’m just damaged bones and a pretty face
You’re a tidal wave who doesn’t know his place”

You calm your nerves, while I let my youth burn
We say we’re immortal, but life’s an affair we totaled
You calm your nerves while I let my youth burn
We say we’re Immortal
I guess we’re not

Allison i wasn’t meant to be this weak
But I’m losing my head in your back seat
Come on its your last chance to raise the dead
Be careful who you forget next
To fall in love

It’s not that bad, just scared of what you had
It’s not that bad, you’ll never get it back
Track Name: Yourself at Night
You try to be yourself at night I know it never works out right
Driving home I see your ghost at every stop and flashing sign
You laugh it off; you're stoned, home alone with him he doesn't know
That you're afraid of giving into to every love you've ever known

Don’t ask where have you been
You left never noticing the ash that lay beneath my skin
I was paid to break
And these days I've earned all my mistakes

You crack your jaw and try to straighten out my flaws, a crooked life
It’s not right, only the lord can rearrange all our insides
You talk me off the ledge, you said forever, and that doesn't change
Cause in the end your giving up on what is running through your veins

Don’t ask where have you been
You left never noticing the ash that lay beneath my skin
Apprehensive to try and wait
I didn't mean to fuck up our fate

Dear in the headlights, I didn't mean to drive you down
I lose control almost every night
And get fucked up when you're not around
Your second hand smoke is all that's left now
I breathe it in despite what's right
Don't mistake regrets for bowing out
Track Name: Come Down
We got drunk
And I held your hands
I never felt them the way I did
I know you didn’t feel a thing
That’s what I want from you
You never told me anything about your body
Sprawled on his bed
I saw you feel good in your skin

This is for your couch I surfed for the weekend
Those nights I couldn’t move
I didn’t have to

I am the same as someone else’s ghost
I couldn’t feel reborn; I’m never coming home
But I am not transparent
Grab my arms again

This is for your couch I surfed for the weekend
Those nights I couldn’t move
I didn’t have to

I’m coming down for you
I’ll calm down for you
Track Name: Champion of Death
Sleep on couches but it’s not just my room
I’m worried about
Black lungs I dragged home from your house
Bedroom windows
Your nights just follow me down

Trying hard to forget your father’s gun
As I wrap my head with it

Was the water cold?
Did it start to feel warm?
As you held your breath
Hoping you’d lose it

I think of all your reds and blues
And I could never lay it into you
Still the martyr not giving up
DEATH can roll with us

Was the water cold?
Did it start to feel warm?
As you held your breath
Hoping you’d lose it
Though I barely remember
I’d still like to forget
Cause I never knew
How dark it was back then
Track Name: Honey, I Get It
Lifting up your shirt reveals the scars you aren’t proud of
You say, “your beauty’s worn out and our love’s washed up”
In the hum of the night, I see you dancing to a different sort of scripture
Talking shit through midnight lungs, the slow burn of summer’s got me waiting dead

I can’t move on, when burden is the blame
You have to run if you ever want to change
Never found a horror as holy as your name
Never found a love as open as your veins

The fields flood like your lungs in the bathtub, holding your breath in tunnels
You’re the dirty word in a hymn, I see you in misguided epiphanies and I lost you in drunken dreams, that our friends held tight between their tongues

Breaking the chain-smoke you turn the radio down so you can hear your pity out loud
I’m still a sucker for your trouble, with my black eye; I know it’s a fistfight
Honey, I get it, you have better hearts to break,
I won’t pretend to be the pills that make your fingers shake

Dear in the headlights I didn’t mean to drive you down
I lose control almost every night and get fucked up when you’re not around
Your second hand smoke is all that’s left now
I breathe it in despite what’s right
Don’t mistake regrets for bowing out

I can’t move on, when burden is the blame
You have to run if you ever want to change
Never found a horror as holy as your name
Never found a love as open as your veins


I wrote I found you sleeping, singing,
‘There are times when I miss you and there are times when I’m sober’
We drink with fire; the wine’s been spilt,
Oh our beautiful aggression turned into naked thrills

I can’t move on, when burden is the blame
You have to run if you ever want to change
Never found a horror as holy as your name
Never found a love as open as your veins
Track Name: Florida New Revival
You complain about the Future, spending nights in your bed
I caught you crying in the backyard begging for home
And I've lost another night pleading for the throne
If I could talk to God then I wouldn't be alone

Salvation is not what it seems
If I can't have you and heaven then it's not for me

You complain about the Past spilling drinks on your floor
I caught you smoking your holy cigarette with the Lord
And I'm here enjoying my damnation in the tropics
I can't resurrect you're name so I might as well drop it

Salvation is not what it seems
If I can't have you and heaven then it's not for me


You bastard
You never saved anyone
You just looked the part
A second rate chosen one
Nonbelievers at most
Give up the Holy Ghost
Track Name: No Wave (Ghosts)
A part of you could never go
And it doesn’t smell of smoke
I wear you out on my neck
Daydreaming to hang its head

No wave, no wave
Sweetheart
Sweeter homecoming

Dressed in white, graduate
Wash up love, and sign your name
20 gone, no youth in you
No youth
Track Name: Have Fun
Grew out our hair like when we were young
It’s not moving backward, we’re just having fun
Could’ve had some city
Could’ve saved your soul
But you look so pretty
When you’re nothing at all
You don’t want blood, you want to have fun
Track Name: Saturdays For Yourself (feat. Taylor D'Elia)
Your drinks follow you home
And you wake with them in your head
You drive to work in the morning
Hoping it works out for you in the end

You cave for youth and hazy days ahead of you

You twist at ends not knowing where they began
I drive you home in hopes to get you off
You think you know
But you don’t

I know it’s backwards for you
But I’ll leaving your head soon
I know it’s backwards for you
But I’ll leaving your head

Saturdays for yourself
I felt it
Saturdays for yourself
You can have them

Closed doors and empty beds in the end
Track Name: I Quit
Rings in my eyes
They hang with ghosts at night
I think of you most the time
Hop in my car and quit like I needed

She says do you remember
The summer I was burning dead
In swimming pools of rebellion
A chlorine crown you wore out best

I woke up alone and young in your bed
Jumped your fenced in smile
Staining sheets to bury regrets

Your haunted friends have grown to men
The girls you loved you’ll never sleep with again
Take your memories to bed and forget what it meant
When fists break the fall 19 I fight it all

I put my faith in the wrong drugs
The wrong love, the worst parts of you
No better form of ruin than the truth
Track Name: Still Hanging With The Bad
Old clothes, hang in my head
My hands can never shake it off
Head on shoulder, you’re getting older
You cling to the last laugh and pray it all will pass

Is it love cause I've seen what's underneath?
Tie a knot between the sheets
You don't believe in life after we meet
Born again but dying to repeat

Hail Mary, didn't think you'd save me
I am not the son you had, still hanging with the bad
Power lines America, take me home or let me roam
You'll never blur the way you want,
A promise you already forgot

Is it love cause I've seen what's underneath?
Tie a knot between the sheets
You don't believe in life after we meet
Born again but dying to repeat
Track Name: Smoke Gets In Your Eyes
You think I haven't seen the dead of night
You think I haven't felt the thrill of the fight
Poor old man, you don't understand
If I bought it then it must be mine

Comatose for three years with you
Bleached roots and all apologies too
If you're looking for a way out then I'll just stay here
You lost a lot more when you cut your hair

Everything's changed
Heaven's so close and I feel strange
I know you never sleep at night
Smoke gets in your eyes

Give me thunder, Give me roaring innocence
At the risk of sounding so sincere,
I miss the way you used to say,
'Maybe we'll get out of here"
Hold your penitence to your breasts
And count the cars as they pass
Flash and crash cold reminders of the start

Everything's changed
Heaven’s so close and I feel strange
I know you never sleep at night
Smoke gets in your eyes
Track Name: Home
Get gone
Decorated streetlights
Wreath welcoming reapers
Celebrating crashing cars
Braking for no one

You skinned your knees
I cut my wrist but
We both bleed the same
Richmond won’t you give me the time I need
There’s no reason to be anything
To hell with ‘I’m sorry”
My mistakes were made for better me’s
I want the faith around my fingers like a wedding ring

You’re at the altar with your legs spread
I want the insides you always promised, laying cheap atop my bed


We love in different places
But I never left your basement

Most nights it’s backs to the wall
And your skin’s on fire
When the boys don’t adore
And the bloods just leaving you bored
Your savior took the hand of another
Trading crosses for strangers’ sheets in hopes to recover

Your body sinks, to absent eyes lost upon
Every drop until dawn is swallowed shot at moving on

Get gone
Decorated streetlights (we love in different places)
Wreath welcoming reapers (but I never left your basement)
Celebrating crashing cars
Breaking for no one